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GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
My buddy thinks you’re real and now we have a bet going. ” — Kristin, 26 The problem..the solution: Aside from the fact that this is a pathetic pickup line, it’s certainly never going to work. [pagebreak] DUMPED AND IN DENIALThe scenario: “I went on a few dates with a guy I met online, and I eventually decided we weren’t compatible, so I was honest with him.
Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.
MISSING IN ACTIONThe scenario: “One time I was messaging back and forth with a guy for two weeks and having a great conversation, but he was taking too long to ask me out, so I stopped talking to him.” — Kelly, 32 The problem..the solution: If you’re into her, ask her out! And if you’re not, why are you still talking to her? When she’s ready to make her exit from the online dating world, she’ll let you know. ” The problem..the solution: Sending a generic message—especially one as uninteresting as this—is not what’s going to make you stand out from other guys.
By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
Or if you feel compelled to bring it up, say something like, “I’m not interested in meeting anyone else online. Trust us, she’s getting a boatload of uninspiring messages like “Hi, how are you?
” and “You’re gorgeous, I’d love to chat.” If you want to get her attention, try doing something a bit more personal.